Age Gap Relationships

A friend I have known for five years texted me  l night and asked if I wanted to go and get a drink.  Over margaritas we caught up with what was going on in our lives and I told him about my blog.  I warned him that I would probably write about him and challenged him to give me something noteworthy to write about.  Would we finish our margaritas and drive to Chicago to walk on the beach and watch the sun come up over a new day?  How about piling in the car and driving to St. Louis to see the arch just because we were here and we could if we wanted to do so?  He laughed and said we had better get a move on because it was a long drive and we had to work today.  Sorry to say I have no impulsive mad activities to report on from last night, but it did start me musing on our friendship and on age gap relationships in general.

He and I met salsa dancing.  He was an absolute beginner, and he smiled his way through his attempts.  I was supportive of him, and encouraging, which I guess he liked, so he returned many times to dance with me.  He always had such a smile on his face that I called him Mr. Smiley in my head.  Over the nights of salsa dancing and conversations our friendship grew and we started hanging out outside of Salsa World even though he was a good 20 years younger than me.  I admired his character greatly and we could spend hours talking.  When I needed to change my classroom midyear, he came out to my school on a Saturday and helped me set it up, moving all of my furniture for me.  I think the world of him, but our friendship has puzzled me a little through the years.  He will get married and have a family one day, but in the meantime we are an unlikely pair of friends.

My friends and I have talked a lot about age gap relationships.  It seems we are always bumping into them, and that the first words out of the guys’ mouths are always “Age doesn’t matter!  It’s just a number!” That may be true; that you can find love and friendship with people of all different ages, but we are never eager to have our hearts broken and so we approach with caution.  I feel that in the short term age may not matter, but if you have different life goals your relationship has an expiration date stamped on it.

Now, I am more romantic than my friend.  I like to believe that if two people love each other age doesn’t have to be the ending cause to the relationship. She, however,  insists that age gap relationships will never work and she always points to Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher as an example. I retort that it was a Hollywood marriage, and look at the general divorce rate anyway!  Any one of a million reasons that have nothing to do with age could have been the reason for the failure!  We go round and round.  Is it better to become involved with someone who is not “age appropriate”, and risk being hurt or is it better to miss the chance for a wonderful friendship and some great experiences?  Life waits for no one.  What do you think?

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Author: jet197

A Spanish speaking elementary resource teacher, single mom with two grown kids and a pasión for the outdoors and books. I am a big curious question mark always pondering with a penchant for poetry.

9 thoughts on “Age Gap Relationships”

  1. Hmmm … lots to ponder, but truly I think as we get older, age doesn’t matter as much. It’s about life goals and happiness. I have friends in every age bracket — connecting in different ways. My husband and I have always been drawn to older couples feeling at ease talking and sharing stories. As you say, life waits for no one. So enjoy it now without worrying about the numbers!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My in-laws had a seventeen year age gap and I believe were very happy together. Of course, he did die 17 years ago, and she’s still going strong.

    I used to carpool to work with a woman who’s about 15 years older than I am. She told me about her mom, who was pushing 90, and how sad it was that her friends had all died. “That’s why I’m friends with you,” she’d tease. “So I’ll still have a friend when I’m old.” I think she was on to something. I enjoy having friends who are twenty years younger and twenty years older than me.

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  3. Geeesh, that is alot to think about. When I think about love, I think love is love. I truly love all ages, sizes, genders, and backgrounds. However, I think love is different than compatibility. I think various ages view the world in a different way. I think there are exceptions, though. This response is muddy at best. Interesting topic.
    http://travelinma.blogspot.com/

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  4. Five years is a HUGE age gap when you are a teenager and absolutely nothing after you have lived a few decades. I think the same holds true for a span of around ten years. Twenty+ and it depends. I think it is possible, but the generational difference and one being closer in age to the other one’s parents could provide many challenges.

    Liked by 1 person

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